2001 AIDS Ride, Day 1

Today's Password(s): Anxiety and Pride

4 am.

The alarm clock goes off and Mike gets up in a panic. He showers and starts packing everything once...twice...three times a lady. Errr...sorry about that. We get everything together and headed over to Concordia. We got his gear checked in. He got his bike all ready. I left Mike as he went into the rider breakfast and the opening ceremonies.

It's now just before 6am and I'm sitting on the Hamline Ave. bridge over John Ireland Blvd. There are a few scattered people on the bridge and I took more pictures for Mike. I'm alternating between excitement and tears as the moment of Ride Out nears. A few of us start talking, and sharing our stories of "our" riders and such.

Suddenly, the first riders appear and we are cheering them on...every last rider. I'm scanning the crowd for the A-Team's yellow jersies. Suddenly, I see them and I'm screaming out "Go A-Team!!" and then I saw Mikey. My heart swelled with pride as my eyes filled with tears. Mikey and I had hit it off after finally meeting and here he was about to ride 521 miles to Chicago.

I got a couple of pictures of him. I really couldn't do anything much after that except cry and clap.

The riders kept thanking us for cheering them. My response was "No, Thank YOU for riding." For the last three years, I've said, I'm going to ride the Ride. But I never have. Actually having been in the registration queue, and at the start, and meeting the people from ARCW who benefit from the Ride, but also give of themselves to ride, made me realize 2002 is My Ride. I will do it.

My fear of the ride...and fear of the pain...
was totally smashed today...
I saw 1700 riders with one goal
and 1700 smiles...
and 1700 people...with 1700 reasons other than themselves...
and I cried.
and cried.
and cried.
and I felt so ashamed and weak
and I *will* do the ride next summer
and I *will* make it all 521 miles
for every friend I lost in college...to friends I may never have
to people who did nothing
'cept love someone.

Mike left today in a crowd of 1700 cyclists. I'm with him, in spirit, but I'm with him.

I walked the 8 blocks to my truck in tears. I got more hugs and smiles on the way back to my truck. I gave hugs and smiles too. I drove to work and sat around in a daze. The morning had drained me before 9am.

I aimlessly drifted through the day and after errands and more errands and dinner, I watched the news. I saw my fat self crying on the bridge and worse, in Monday's 95F/36C weather, three riders had to be taken to hospital for sunstroke and/or dehydration. Blessedly, a cool front went through and temperatures for the ride on Tuesday were forecast in the low 80s with much lower humidity.

I finally made it to bed at 3am. 23 very longs hours after I had gotten up. My mind was at rest, but