Well, let's consider any friendship with Joe dead as I apparently was supposed to answer his Yahoo messages while I was out the entire day.
Since he can't or won't ever deal with things, I've given up on trying to communicate with him. Suddenly, he's all ready to deal with stuff, it's *right now* and I'm supposed to be waiting for his enlightening words. Well, I'll drop all my classes now and just sit by the computer and wait for the next missive from God.
As if being in the library most of the afternoon wasn't bad enough,
dealing with an indecisive speech group, or dad's call about Grandpa...I've had a hellish day.
*Please* let tomorrow go better.
26 February 2002
25 February 2002
Reality Bites...and it leaves marks
Monday has come and is now going. Campus was cold and snowy today. I'm not much on cold, all the BFW's bundle back up 8-(
We have two of our four meetings done for my CMST 192 group project. *woohoo* We meet tomorrow at 9pm and then Wednesday at 12noon.
ESCI 230, we have our first test next Wednesday. We are basically done with Oceanography and moving into surface water systems (lakes and rivers). At least this will have a bit more interest and actually pertains somewhat to meteorology (yes, I *know* it's a hyrdology class).
POL 195...we got our test back. You know it's gonna be good when the prof announces that the T: number (the percentage) for most people is a double digit number. MOST?! Oh boy. I got mine back. I got a "C" on it, barely. I missed a couple of days when I was sick and that really didn't help me, nor did not studying as hard as I should have.
I talked to Maren (chair of Out Loud, part of GLBT Services) and she *strongly* wants me to bring up Granite City Bears at the next Alliance meeting. She wants to tackle the sizest and ageist issues pandemic in the on-campus gay community. During said meeting with Maren (after the Heteroflexible to Bisexual presentation), I was drooling over this hot stocky blond sitting here (similar looking to Jeremy but with the most amazing smoky blue eyes). Maren's like, "Oh, that's my friend." and keeps on going. I was like *gah*, I've bee n spotted drooling.
Maren liked my name for the on-campus bear group "H.U.G." the "Husky Ursine Group". It would be an off-shoot of GLBT Services and would be an arm/outreach to the bear/chub population on campus. It would be in partnership with Granite City Bears, much as how GAB works with GLBTA Alliance.
I *almost* got up the nerve to talk to uber-hottie in ESCI 230 today. God, he's *so* fine. I could just sit and look at him for hours. I dunno, he's just so quiet and handsome. He's like a big butch teddy bear who's arms I'd love to crawl into and take a nap.
Well, this big romantic teddy bear continues his hunt for an intelligent, romantic, funny guy looking for a relationship, not just a one night stand.
Today's song: "Sister" by Icehouse
We have two of our four meetings done for my CMST 192 group project. *woohoo* We meet tomorrow at 9pm and then Wednesday at 12noon.
ESCI 230, we have our first test next Wednesday. We are basically done with Oceanography and moving into surface water systems (lakes and rivers). At least this will have a bit more interest and actually pertains somewhat to meteorology (yes, I *know* it's a hyrdology class).
POL 195...we got our test back. You know it's gonna be good when the prof announces that the T: number (the percentage) for most people is a double digit number. MOST?! Oh boy. I got mine back. I got a "C" on it, barely. I missed a couple of days when I was sick and that really didn't help me, nor did not studying as hard as I should have.
I talked to Maren (chair of Out Loud, part of GLBT Services) and she *strongly* wants me to bring up Granite City Bears at the next Alliance meeting. She wants to tackle the sizest and ageist issues pandemic in the on-campus gay community. During said meeting with Maren (after the Heteroflexible to Bisexual presentation), I was drooling over this hot stocky blond sitting here (similar looking to Jeremy but with the most amazing smoky blue eyes). Maren's like, "Oh, that's my friend." and keeps on going. I was like *gah*, I've bee n spotted drooling.
Maren liked my name for the on-campus bear group "H.U.G." the "Husky Ursine Group". It would be an off-shoot of GLBT Services and would be an arm/outreach to the bear/chub population on campus. It would be in partnership with Granite City Bears, much as how GAB works with GLBTA Alliance.
I *almost* got up the nerve to talk to uber-hottie in ESCI 230 today. God, he's *so* fine. I could just sit and look at him for hours. I dunno, he's just so quiet and handsome. He's like a big butch teddy bear who's arms I'd love to crawl into and take a nap.
Well, this big romantic teddy bear continues his hunt for an intelligent, romantic, funny guy looking for a relationship, not just a one night stand.
Today's song: "Sister" by Icehouse
24 February 2002
WTF?
Okay. Tonight's getting wierd...
Joe's coming up to get a hotel room, inviting Owen and apparently a few people from gay.com to a small party...
Add to that the guy who didn't call/stood me up on Saturday, just now apologizes to me on gay.com..."I'm sorry, I was stuck with friends all day and couldn't call." Apparently, the courtesy of sending an e-mail or a call to say "Hey, my plans changed, can I call you tomorrow?" has gone into the past...
Joe's coming up to get a hotel room, inviting Owen and apparently a few people from gay.com to a small party...
Add to that the guy who didn't call/stood me up on Saturday, just now apologizes to me on gay.com..."I'm sorry, I was stuck with friends all day and couldn't call." Apparently, the courtesy of sending an e-mail or a call to say "Hey, my plans changed, can I call you tomorrow?" has gone into the past...
Chanhassen's Forecasts Suck
Well, last night at 10pm, our forecast was for 1-2" of snow overnight with 1-2" of snow today...
As of 6pm, St. Cloud had 7" of now with 15-20mph winds blowing and drifting it.
That's been the highlight of the day. It's been quiet day with not much happening.
The only other exciting things happening were finding "Pillowbiter" scrawled on the dry-erase board on my door this morning and then seeing the ESCI 230 hottie with some girl in the library. I think it's his sister (they look kinda alike). I might actually use that to try to start a conversation with him tomorrow.
Another wasted day in St. Cloud MN...
As of 6pm, St. Cloud had 7" of now with 15-20mph winds blowing and drifting it.
That's been the highlight of the day. It's been quiet day with not much happening.
The only other exciting things happening were finding "Pillowbiter" scrawled on the dry-erase board on my door this morning and then seeing the ESCI 230 hottie with some girl in the library. I think it's his sister (they look kinda alike). I might actually use that to try to start a conversation with him tomorrow.
Another wasted day in St. Cloud MN...
23 February 2002
Weekends in St. Cloud Are Boring As Hell
*yawn* I got stood up by the guy I was supposed to go out with today. I got a whole page done in my novel but I did get the start of a website for Granite City Bears. We'll see how that turns out tomorrow. I'm hoping to get the word out through North Country Bears and an announcement on the STC Bi/Gay men group on Yahoo. I might even take out an ad in the Chronicle (campus newspaper). I'm also going to be making the announcement at the next GLBTA meeting and also sending an e-mail to GAB (Gay And Bisexual mens group) here in St. Cloud.
I'm still mentally going over what to do about locations and funding. I could try to keep it linked to "on-campus" and allow townspeople to attend. I'd rather keep it independant of campus and SCSU as that allows us flexibility as well as independence from GLBTA and the attendent politics and drama.
I'm still mentally going over what to do about locations and funding. I could try to keep it linked to "on-campus" and allow townspeople to attend. I'd rather keep it independant of campus and SCSU as that allows us flexibility as well as independence from GLBTA and the attendent politics and drama.
22 February 2002
I've Got Friday On My Mind
Today was one of those days I like. CMST 192 and ESCI 230 went smoothly and the test in POL 195 wasn't terrible. I think I did rather well. I have my ESCI 230 homework done already for Monday.
I have two whole days of absolute nothingness ahead of me and I am looking forward to it.
I'm going to work on my novel some...and possibley even some poetry this weekend.
I have two whole days of absolute nothingness ahead of me and I am looking forward to it.
I'm going to work on my novel some...and possibley even some poetry this weekend.
21 February 2002
Save Me From My Life
I was up until 4 am talking to my neighbour Todd about the world we live in and life in general. It was nice to actually have an intelligent conversation with a cognizant human.
Jason woke me at 7:45am. My day was off to a slow groggy start. I finally rolled off to class at 12.15 and was supposed to be there at 12.30. I skipped lunch, but...
Today was a major BFW (Big Fucking WOOF!) day. It was as if the rugby team and the football backfield from every local high school and college was wandering around our campus.
I got to ESCI 230 lab and was sitting there when my right lens just popped out of my glasses. Lo and behold, the frame of my glasses broke. I quickly put in my contacts and went on with class. I finally got done talking to Dr. Nelson after class at 3.
I ran through Atwood and snarfed down Taco Bell. I ran back to the hall, got my stuff for HURL 102 and ran over to it. I finally got back to the hall about 7:15.
I have my POL 195 test at noon. I'm as ready as I'm going to be for this test. I should do well on it.
My CMST 192 paper is done. My ESCI 230 problem sets are done. It should be into a very quiet weekend.
I'm sleep deprived and starting to get spacy. I'm headed to bed to try to get a decent 8 hours of sleep.
More tomorrow...
Jason woke me at 7:45am. My day was off to a slow groggy start. I finally rolled off to class at 12.15 and was supposed to be there at 12.30. I skipped lunch, but...
Today was a major BFW (Big Fucking WOOF!) day. It was as if the rugby team and the football backfield from every local high school and college was wandering around our campus.
I got to ESCI 230 lab and was sitting there when my right lens just popped out of my glasses. Lo and behold, the frame of my glasses broke. I quickly put in my contacts and went on with class. I finally got done talking to Dr. Nelson after class at 3.
I ran through Atwood and snarfed down Taco Bell. I ran back to the hall, got my stuff for HURL 102 and ran over to it. I finally got back to the hall about 7:15.
I have my POL 195 test at noon. I'm as ready as I'm going to be for this test. I should do well on it.
My CMST 192 paper is done. My ESCI 230 problem sets are done. It should be into a very quiet weekend.
I'm sleep deprived and starting to get spacy. I'm headed to bed to try to get a decent 8 hours of sleep.
More tomorrow...
20 February 2002
Long Time No Type
Well, let's see here...
I have a two page paper due in CMST 192 on Friday, our first test on Friday in POL 195 (heavy on the Constitution), and ESCI 230 lab tomorrow will be short and boring.
In the last week, I've really started to think my CMST 192 class is *really* a Psychology class in disguise as everything is about "you" and introspection/reflection. I don't like Dr. Torborg and I'm going to be VERY happy to be out of her class.
ESCI 230 is going to finally get better as after this week we will be done with the f*cking oceanic part of the class. It's fun and interesting, but not at all interesting.
POL 195..the snooze continues...test Friday..back to boring lecture...
HURL 102 is still a treat and a half. By far and away, my favorite class.
Today's highlight was the SCSU "Fighting Carp" Rugby team recruiting in Atwood Memorial Center today. Oh holy Goddess, them was some damn fine men. I haven't popped wood while walking in years...and I nearly shot my load as I walked by...
As I walked out of Atwood (noticibly bulging), the mood was totally shot but the "Give Blood Today" sign outside (for the Red Cross Bloodmobile) and I immediately started laughing thinking "Give Blood, Play Rugby". Damn, I've not had a horndog day like this in *years*.
I'm starting to serious consider a new domain for Stocky Jock and moving it more towards a bear/chub all-purpose portal. Either that or I'm going to leave it as is (with an overhaul) and then set up a "Granite City Bears and Chubs" group and get that going. Hopefully, we can cooperate with North Country Bears and do some events together.
We'll see. I want to do the GCBC thing and also the the SCSU Amateur Radio Club back up and running...neither one will be easy or quickly done.
I think the GCBC thing will be a summer project with the Radio Club as a slow on-going thing...
I'm bummed. I'm going to hit Health Services and see about getting back on Trazadone. I'm hitting a major downer and it's affecting school...this is *not* good. for this first time in months, I've had fleeting thoughts of self-destruction. I keep looking for bright spots...I find a few...but the darkness is closing in again...
I have a two page paper due in CMST 192 on Friday, our first test on Friday in POL 195 (heavy on the Constitution), and ESCI 230 lab tomorrow will be short and boring.
In the last week, I've really started to think my CMST 192 class is *really* a Psychology class in disguise as everything is about "you" and introspection/reflection. I don't like Dr. Torborg and I'm going to be VERY happy to be out of her class.
ESCI 230 is going to finally get better as after this week we will be done with the f*cking oceanic part of the class. It's fun and interesting, but not at all interesting.
POL 195..the snooze continues...test Friday..back to boring lecture...
HURL 102 is still a treat and a half. By far and away, my favorite class.
Today's highlight was the SCSU "Fighting Carp" Rugby team recruiting in Atwood Memorial Center today. Oh holy Goddess, them was some damn fine men. I haven't popped wood while walking in years...and I nearly shot my load as I walked by...
As I walked out of Atwood (noticibly bulging), the mood was totally shot but the "Give Blood Today" sign outside (for the Red Cross Bloodmobile) and I immediately started laughing thinking "Give Blood, Play Rugby". Damn, I've not had a horndog day like this in *years*.
I'm starting to serious consider a new domain for Stocky Jock and moving it more towards a bear/chub all-purpose portal. Either that or I'm going to leave it as is (with an overhaul) and then set up a "Granite City Bears and Chubs" group and get that going. Hopefully, we can cooperate with North Country Bears and do some events together.
We'll see. I want to do the GCBC thing and also the the SCSU Amateur Radio Club back up and running...neither one will be easy or quickly done.
I think the GCBC thing will be a summer project with the Radio Club as a slow on-going thing...
I'm bummed. I'm going to hit Health Services and see about getting back on Trazadone. I'm hitting a major downer and it's affecting school...this is *not* good. for this first time in months, I've had fleeting thoughts of self-destruction. I keep looking for bright spots...I find a few...but the darkness is closing in again...
14 February 2002
Long Days Catch Up With You
Well, I'm waiting for dinner to be delivered (gotta love Gary's).
I find out in about 13 hours if I live or die regarding my CMST 192 test. I think I did well. If I didn't, we can throw out the lowest of the four tests. If I bombed it, it was a learning experience in how she does her tests and how I need to study for the next three.
ESCI 230 is *finally* starting to get interesting. The problem sets are ugly math, but I understand it and it makes sense when it's all done. The more I do the math, the less afraid I am of taking my math skills placement test and taking MATH 072/115 this summer. If I can pull that off, I can be in Calc I (MATH 192) this fall, that means I could take ESCI 360 (Intro to Meteorology).
POL 195 (Intro to American National Government) is about as dry as a desert and about as much fun as watching paint dry. I'm developing an attitude towards the class unfortunately. I'm not learning anything as much as I'm having U.S. Goverment from Junior and Senior High rehashed. I missed last Friday when I was sick. Monday, it was cancelled. Wednesday, I had a follow-up Dr. appt. I've missed it three times and I'm not concerned about it. I need to change that attitude.
HURL 102 (Human Race and Relations) is finally starting to move into the current time frame and getting more interesting. We are dealing with much more contemporary stereotypes and effects of racism as well as dealing with the causes.
In "real world" news, whilst at Crossroads Mall, I hit Waldenbooks and bought myself the four books of the "Earth's Children" series in paperback. Clan of the Cave Bear is the first...ending with "The Plains of Passage". While there, I found out that the *fifth* book is *finally* getting released. I got "The Plains of Passage" when it came out, 12 years ago. Finally now, I get to finish off s'more of the series.
My own novel has been on hold. I need to stake out some time for it and sit down every week and work on it. School has taken up most of my time (as it should) but at the same time, I want to take some time to unwind and relax from wave predication formulas and the models of small group communication.
Overall, I'm quite happy with life. Sean and I are talking from time to time. He's really cool and cute to boot. Joe's applied to SCSU and I have him specificied as my roommate for fall, so if he's accepted, he'll be rooming with me in Sherburne.
I don't have a man here on Valentine's Day but ya know, that's alright. I'd really like to be sharing my life with someone, but at the same time, I don't have the time to really dedicate myself to him. I have cool people I hang out with up here at school.
Song of the Day: "In The Heart" by Dream Academy. Yes I found it on AudioGalaxy!!!
I find out in about 13 hours if I live or die regarding my CMST 192 test. I think I did well. If I didn't, we can throw out the lowest of the four tests. If I bombed it, it was a learning experience in how she does her tests and how I need to study for the next three.
ESCI 230 is *finally* starting to get interesting. The problem sets are ugly math, but I understand it and it makes sense when it's all done. The more I do the math, the less afraid I am of taking my math skills placement test and taking MATH 072/115 this summer. If I can pull that off, I can be in Calc I (MATH 192) this fall, that means I could take ESCI 360 (Intro to Meteorology).
POL 195 (Intro to American National Government) is about as dry as a desert and about as much fun as watching paint dry. I'm developing an attitude towards the class unfortunately. I'm not learning anything as much as I'm having U.S. Goverment from Junior and Senior High rehashed. I missed last Friday when I was sick. Monday, it was cancelled. Wednesday, I had a follow-up Dr. appt. I've missed it three times and I'm not concerned about it. I need to change that attitude.
HURL 102 (Human Race and Relations) is finally starting to move into the current time frame and getting more interesting. We are dealing with much more contemporary stereotypes and effects of racism as well as dealing with the causes.
In "real world" news, whilst at Crossroads Mall, I hit Waldenbooks and bought myself the four books of the "Earth's Children" series in paperback. Clan of the Cave Bear is the first...ending with "The Plains of Passage". While there, I found out that the *fifth* book is *finally* getting released. I got "The Plains of Passage" when it came out, 12 years ago. Finally now, I get to finish off s'more of the series.
My own novel has been on hold. I need to stake out some time for it and sit down every week and work on it. School has taken up most of my time (as it should) but at the same time, I want to take some time to unwind and relax from wave predication formulas and the models of small group communication.
Overall, I'm quite happy with life. Sean and I are talking from time to time. He's really cool and cute to boot. Joe's applied to SCSU and I have him specificied as my roommate for fall, so if he's accepted, he'll be rooming with me in Sherburne.
I don't have a man here on Valentine's Day but ya know, that's alright. I'd really like to be sharing my life with someone, but at the same time, I don't have the time to really dedicate myself to him. I have cool people I hang out with up here at school.
Song of the Day: "In The Heart" by Dream Academy. Yes I found it on AudioGalaxy!!!
12 February 2002
Tests? Why are these happening?
I'll blog an update tomorrow after my CMST 192 test with Dictator Torborg...
07 February 2002
The Teach Yourself How To Queif Manual
Oh my God...I'm hanging out in Tracy's room...then suddenly we have a discussion of quiefs. Christine actually *tried* to teach herself to quief. Oh my god.
The bonding experiences we have at this lil meetings are something strange. I can see this now...walk by Christine "pffffffft". Todd wants to hear this.... Oh my god!
This is *so* wrong. My face hurts from laughing.
The bonding experiences we have at this lil meetings are something strange. I can see this now...walk by Christine "pffffffft". Todd wants to hear this.... Oh my god!
This is *so* wrong. My face hurts from laughing.
06 February 2002
Drugs are good
Okay. It's official. I'm sick. I have my usual sinus infection, cough, possible strep throat thing. I've not had it for about a year, and so I'm due for it. I have an appointment at Student Death^H^H^H^H^HHealth services at 2:30.
I have my first test on Wednesday. It's in CMST 192. I'll be studying starting today and praying for a miracle. The only difference is that I may be petitioning to take the test early so I can go to the Student Lobby Day in St. Paul.
Student Lobby Day is an organized protest against the 13% tuition increase coming down the pipe (after the 10% increase this year) and promises that the two years following will be even worse.
All the MnSCU schools are facing huge hikes in tuition...to pay for the state's deficit. How nice. We try to further our lives and get penalized for it.
I have my first test on Wednesday. It's in CMST 192. I'll be studying starting today and praying for a miracle. The only difference is that I may be petitioning to take the test early so I can go to the Student Lobby Day in St. Paul.
Student Lobby Day is an organized protest against the 13% tuition increase coming down the pipe (after the 10% increase this year) and promises that the two years following will be even worse.
All the MnSCU schools are facing huge hikes in tuition...to pay for the state's deficit. How nice. We try to further our lives and get penalized for it.
05 February 2002
Elections suck
Well, aside from the horrid nagging cough I have with this sore throat, it wasn't a bad day. I have a headache from the swelling in my throat, but it's getting better.
I wandered through the day. Owen and I had dinner at Olive Garden. Dinner was cool and then it was Hall Council.
I got nominated and gave a flippant speech with one other person running against me. I didn't expect to win. Unfortunately, I won. I'm now the Hall Council Treasurer.
I'm going to take a couple of Tylenol, read chapter 13 of the speech stuff.
There's nothing much going on, so I'm going to head to bed earlier.
I wandered through the day. Owen and I had dinner at Olive Garden. Dinner was cool and then it was Hall Council.
I got nominated and gave a flippant speech with one other person running against me. I didn't expect to win. Unfortunately, I won. I'm now the Hall Council Treasurer.
I'm going to take a couple of Tylenol, read chapter 13 of the speech stuff.
There's nothing much going on, so I'm going to head to bed earlier.
04 February 2002
I'm out to three people
Well, the program is over and *yawn* was it underwhelming. Everyone who was there already knew. It was a good dialogue and a few of the straight people actually got to ask questions about things they were unsure of or didn't know.
The rest of my day was so so. I have a ton of reading and studying to to in CMST 192. Our first exam is next Wednesday. *EEEEK!* I feel confident about it and being able to get all the material learned.
ESCI 230 today was a recap of Friday's lecture about storm surge and tropical systems. As he stated numerous times, the meteorology people all ready understand this and have had it before. He did a great explanation as to the origins of tropical systems. We did get our problems sets for this section. They are due in two weeks. At least he gave us a decent amount of time to work on them.
POL 195 was the same monotone lecture. At times, I just want to bust out with "Bueller....Bueller...Bueller" and see how many people get it and have a good laugh.
Other news, I found out the SCSU Pagan Alliance meets on Wednesday nights at 7pm which will be cool. I also managed to get my hands on the name of the person who is the trustee for the SCSU club station license and also the owner for the 440 repeater on the roof. I should have a much easier time getting the Radio Club on campus reactivated.
I'm planning a major overhaul of Stocky Jock soon. I have some content to add. In addition, I want to put up some forums so people can sound off and have interactive discussions. The Yahoo Group seems to be rather slow to inactive and not really fostering much discussion.
I think I'm coming down with a cold. Either that or I scalded my throat on my coffee this morning (that's what I think it is) as it's not in my chest and my sinuses don't hurt. It's a scratchy throat with a small but nagging cough. I'm not worried about it but if it's not much better in a couple of days, I'll be over in Health Services.
I'm going to head to bed fairly early tonight. I have a headache and this throat thing is nagging me too. I'm going to read some more of "Virtual Equality" by Urvashi Vaid, which is turning into quite the fascinating read about the history of the gay civil rights movement and where we have (and haven't) gotten on our goals.
It's really making me rethink my position of just being a gay man on campus. Rather, I realize that I just as myself, have a powerful position in educating others and also in shaping people's perceptions of GLBT people.
School is tough, but I love it.
I'm off to read for a bit then to sleep.
The rest of my day was so so. I have a ton of reading and studying to to in CMST 192. Our first exam is next Wednesday. *EEEEK!* I feel confident about it and being able to get all the material learned.
ESCI 230 today was a recap of Friday's lecture about storm surge and tropical systems. As he stated numerous times, the meteorology people all ready understand this and have had it before. He did a great explanation as to the origins of tropical systems. We did get our problems sets for this section. They are due in two weeks. At least he gave us a decent amount of time to work on them.
POL 195 was the same monotone lecture. At times, I just want to bust out with "Bueller....Bueller...Bueller" and see how many people get it and have a good laugh.
Other news, I found out the SCSU Pagan Alliance meets on Wednesday nights at 7pm which will be cool. I also managed to get my hands on the name of the person who is the trustee for the SCSU club station license and also the owner for the 440 repeater on the roof. I should have a much easier time getting the Radio Club on campus reactivated.
I'm planning a major overhaul of Stocky Jock soon. I have some content to add. In addition, I want to put up some forums so people can sound off and have interactive discussions. The Yahoo Group seems to be rather slow to inactive and not really fostering much discussion.
I think I'm coming down with a cold. Either that or I scalded my throat on my coffee this morning (that's what I think it is) as it's not in my chest and my sinuses don't hurt. It's a scratchy throat with a small but nagging cough. I'm not worried about it but if it's not much better in a couple of days, I'll be over in Health Services.
I'm going to head to bed fairly early tonight. I have a headache and this throat thing is nagging me too. I'm going to read some more of "Virtual Equality" by Urvashi Vaid, which is turning into quite the fascinating read about the history of the gay civil rights movement and where we have (and haven't) gotten on our goals.
It's really making me rethink my position of just being a gay man on campus. Rather, I realize that I just as myself, have a powerful position in educating others and also in shaping people's perceptions of GLBT people.
School is tough, but I love it.
I'm off to read for a bit then to sleep.
03 February 2002
Where is my walker?
Staying up until 7:30am and getting up at noon doesn't make me happy. It's my own doing, but still, ugh, I feel hungover and I was the only one *not* drinking last night. Can you get a hangover via osmosis?
I'm just trying to regain coherency for lunch and watching the Superbowl commercials. (Damn that football game, it gets in the way!)
Song of the moment "Party Hard" by Andrew WK
I'm just trying to regain coherency for lunch and watching the Superbowl commercials. (Damn that football game, it gets in the way!)
Song of the moment "Party Hard" by Andrew WK
02 February 2002
Two-thumbs-down-to-drama
The drunken drama continues and escalates. I'm slowly getting drawn more and more into the drama and I'm *not* liking it. I'm actually starting to have those nagging misgivings about ever having moved up here in the first place. Maybe I would have been better off taking the Wells Fargo job and staying in the Cities. It would have been enough $$ for me to pay off bills and still cover rent.
The straight drama is that Stephanie is a *bitch*. She's a manipulative whiny bitch who thinks that she's above everyone else on the floor. She's all goody goody two shoes, but yet, tonight, we find out she gave Nick a blow job (tainted goods) *but* she doesn't remember if she swallowed or not! Now, granted after a few weeks or months, I'd not remember either, but this has been less than three weeks and she's totally in love/lust/something with him.
I'm just more than ready to sit Jason down, explain some things to him, both about myself and about him. Why people on the floor are uncomfortable around him, why they don't ask him out drinking, and so on.
Christine's friend Michael is up here visiting her. He's got 17 days before he's in the Navy for a few years. He's a cutie and I'd love to show him a few things. He's gay, but I don't think he's interested in me at all. Oh well, I'd rather just make out with him to totally fry Jason's brain outta his mind.
We had a fun night actually, Christine, Michael, and I hanging out in her room. If Stephanie has stayed *sober*, she'd not have been that bad. She was totally smashed and a complete whining bitch.
We popped in "Dude, Where's My Car" and watched that. Stupid pointless movie, though one of the "Zoltan" followers was *hot*. Anyways...Jason came in and watched the last 45 minutes or so of the movie. It was actually a fun night until the Stephanie drama started. Apparently Jason (my roommate for clarification, the other Jason is out of town this weekend) has just read Stephanie the riot act. Hopefully, this will get some sense into her head, but I'm not counting on it.
I'm slowly starting to hang out with the people on the floor. I'm getting comfortable with them all and it's not all that bad, except for the drama. I could seriously use some dramamine on nights like this.
*Break for more drama*
Okay, Jason, Stephanie, Christine, and Michael are all stumbling over to Coburn's for "stuff", I have my request in. 1/2 gallon of milk and chocolate chip cookies.
Maybe my isolation isn't all bad. It's more like Priscilla and the analogy of the suburbs. It's not that the countryside is protected from the city by the suburbs, rather the city is protected from the countryside by the suburbs.
Maybe I'm just protecting myself from all the drama and bullshit around me by pulling away. Rather than dealing with all the stress and the bullshit, I'm dealing with myself and my life. I'm sick of this fucking shit. I know that with dorm life goes some bullshit and drama, but every day and every drunken night?
If this was truly the "SOTA" floor, I don't think we'd be having these problems. The "A" wing (the younger girls) are drama/angst ridden, a few of the older guys on "B" wing (where I live) are adding to it, Nick is a player. Love 'em and leave 'em. Not bad, 'cept when women don't get it. "C" Wing is quiet. We never hear from them. I've actually considered moving to "C" Wing. I don't know if it's the proximity to Brad's room (the RA) or if they are just more mature, naturally quieter, or what...but they have to hate the drama of "A" Wing and the drunked rowdiness that occasionally erupts on our wing.
All I want (and it seems like I'm asking for the world right now) is for Jason to be gone for a weekend and for me to have an entire weekend to myself, able to lock the world outside when I want, not be interrupted.
Why I need that privacy/me time I don't know. I think I spooked Sean out tonight as I was kinda down about all the drama and feeling isolated by it all. I hadn't realized that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I think my attitude put him off or totally spooked him. I hope not. He's a really nice guy and I would like to get to know him better.
We'll see how it all goes down in the next few days. I think Jason may actually realize he can be somewhat involved on this floor, Stephanie might actually realize that she can be herself and might actually be liked around here, and I might actually have made some friends.
You know, all and all, maybe the drama isn't so bad. It at least brings issues to the surface and deals with them. It's not the best way to deal with things, but they are then dealt with issues. Otherwise, we'd have huge blowups from time to time and that would truly suck.
The Coburn's caravan has been gone for a while. I'm hoping that they will return fairly soon. My munchies and my headache will appreciate them.
The straight drama is that Stephanie is a *bitch*. She's a manipulative whiny bitch who thinks that she's above everyone else on the floor. She's all goody goody two shoes, but yet, tonight, we find out she gave Nick a blow job (tainted goods) *but* she doesn't remember if she swallowed or not! Now, granted after a few weeks or months, I'd not remember either, but this has been less than three weeks and she's totally in love/lust/something with him.
I'm just more than ready to sit Jason down, explain some things to him, both about myself and about him. Why people on the floor are uncomfortable around him, why they don't ask him out drinking, and so on.
Christine's friend Michael is up here visiting her. He's got 17 days before he's in the Navy for a few years. He's a cutie and I'd love to show him a few things. He's gay, but I don't think he's interested in me at all. Oh well, I'd rather just make out with him to totally fry Jason's brain outta his mind.
We had a fun night actually, Christine, Michael, and I hanging out in her room. If Stephanie has stayed *sober*, she'd not have been that bad. She was totally smashed and a complete whining bitch.
We popped in "Dude, Where's My Car" and watched that. Stupid pointless movie, though one of the "Zoltan" followers was *hot*. Anyways...Jason came in and watched the last 45 minutes or so of the movie. It was actually a fun night until the Stephanie drama started. Apparently Jason (my roommate for clarification, the other Jason is out of town this weekend) has just read Stephanie the riot act. Hopefully, this will get some sense into her head, but I'm not counting on it.
I'm slowly starting to hang out with the people on the floor. I'm getting comfortable with them all and it's not all that bad, except for the drama. I could seriously use some dramamine on nights like this.
*Break for more drama*
Okay, Jason, Stephanie, Christine, and Michael are all stumbling over to Coburn's for "stuff", I have my request in. 1/2 gallon of milk and chocolate chip cookies.
Maybe my isolation isn't all bad. It's more like Priscilla and the analogy of the suburbs. It's not that the countryside is protected from the city by the suburbs, rather the city is protected from the countryside by the suburbs.
Maybe I'm just protecting myself from all the drama and bullshit around me by pulling away. Rather than dealing with all the stress and the bullshit, I'm dealing with myself and my life. I'm sick of this fucking shit. I know that with dorm life goes some bullshit and drama, but every day and every drunken night?
If this was truly the "SOTA" floor, I don't think we'd be having these problems. The "A" wing (the younger girls) are drama/angst ridden, a few of the older guys on "B" wing (where I live) are adding to it, Nick is a player. Love 'em and leave 'em. Not bad, 'cept when women don't get it. "C" Wing is quiet. We never hear from them. I've actually considered moving to "C" Wing. I don't know if it's the proximity to Brad's room (the RA) or if they are just more mature, naturally quieter, or what...but they have to hate the drama of "A" Wing and the drunked rowdiness that occasionally erupts on our wing.
All I want (and it seems like I'm asking for the world right now) is for Jason to be gone for a weekend and for me to have an entire weekend to myself, able to lock the world outside when I want, not be interrupted.
Why I need that privacy/me time I don't know. I think I spooked Sean out tonight as I was kinda down about all the drama and feeling isolated by it all. I hadn't realized that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I think my attitude put him off or totally spooked him. I hope not. He's a really nice guy and I would like to get to know him better.
We'll see how it all goes down in the next few days. I think Jason may actually realize he can be somewhat involved on this floor, Stephanie might actually realize that she can be herself and might actually be liked around here, and I might actually have made some friends.
You know, all and all, maybe the drama isn't so bad. It at least brings issues to the surface and deals with them. It's not the best way to deal with things, but they are then dealt with issues. Otherwise, we'd have huge blowups from time to time and that would truly suck.
The Coburn's caravan has been gone for a while. I'm hoping that they will return fairly soon. My munchies and my headache will appreciate them.
from the lazy-saturday-afternoon dept.
I'm waiting for Owen to give me a call so we can run out to Best Buy. My 15Gb drive is dying (again) so I'm going to replace it with a bigger drive from a different maker. I have no faith in Western Digital drives now. The original 15Gb dies, they ship a refurb as a warranty drive, and now that refurb is failing. I'm getting Maxtor, as I've never had problems with them.
I'm also going to be pricing digital cameras. I'm not sure what I can get for price, but I'm going to look and see what's around. I'm debating between a digital camera and a new H/T for ham radio. I think I'll go with the digital camera.
Still no flyers for the floor program and I've now heard that Jason is *not* attending as "I don't want to associate with this floor". Well, I think that summarizes his attitude fairly well.
I should order lunch before Owen calls, but I'm not really sure what I want, and I know I don't want BK (the only thing open in Atwood) and I'm too hungry to wait for 4:45 when Garvey (campus food service) opens.
I need to write Sean an e-mail explaining where I'm at with the whole getting to know him/possibly dating him thing. I think we're both in the same boat in that we both have been really hurt in the past and we both are really fearful of getting messed up again.
so, I'm gonna drop ~$100 and get a working, non-failing HD and check out cameras. Maybe I can get a good picture of Sean sometime, his pictures don't do him justice. Cameras don't capture the soul well either...
I'm also going to be pricing digital cameras. I'm not sure what I can get for price, but I'm going to look and see what's around. I'm debating between a digital camera and a new H/T for ham radio. I think I'll go with the digital camera.
Still no flyers for the floor program and I've now heard that Jason is *not* attending as "I don't want to associate with this floor". Well, I think that summarizes his attitude fairly well.
I should order lunch before Owen calls, but I'm not really sure what I want, and I know I don't want BK (the only thing open in Atwood) and I'm too hungry to wait for 4:45 when Garvey (campus food service) opens.
I need to write Sean an e-mail explaining where I'm at with the whole getting to know him/possibly dating him thing. I think we're both in the same boat in that we both have been really hurt in the past and we both are really fearful of getting messed up again.
so, I'm gonna drop ~$100 and get a working, non-failing HD and check out cameras. Maybe I can get a good picture of Sean sometime, his pictures don't do him justice. Cameras don't capture the soul well either...
01 February 2002
from the "I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life" dept
Well, the weekend is here, it's 2:45am Saturday. *yawn* I didn't think the weekends would be this boring around here. Apparently, this is the excitement.
Brad still hasn't put the flyers up for our floor meeting on Monday. I'm about ready to just say "fuck it".
Jason's starting to act social at times. He's still spewing his sexist titty drool and his homophobic shit.
Nick is still a hottie. He looks damn good in just a pair of boxer briefs. *sigh*
Todd is a sweetheart, we had a long talk today. He's happily married to his wife, but he's still cool to talk to about anything.
Sean and I didn't get together tonight. It looks like it'll be next weekend instead. I've found my mind wandering to thoughts of him a few times in the last few days. Earlier tonight, everyone was wandering around with their "someone" and it was depressing.
A couple of the people on the floor have told me I shouldn't have any problem as there are gay people all over. Apparently, I'm gay, so I'm attracted to all gay men. Hell, if that was the case...
Actually, I'm wanting to hang out with Sean s'more and get to know a bit more about him. I was suffering from my blabbering nervousness the other night. 8-( I feel (and fear) that I made a complete dorkass of myself.
Maybe I just have too much free time to think about my living situation and my lack of romantic leads.
it's 3am, I should shower and head to bed...
*sigh*
Brad still hasn't put the flyers up for our floor meeting on Monday. I'm about ready to just say "fuck it".
Jason's starting to act social at times. He's still spewing his sexist titty drool and his homophobic shit.
Nick is still a hottie. He looks damn good in just a pair of boxer briefs. *sigh*
Todd is a sweetheart, we had a long talk today. He's happily married to his wife, but he's still cool to talk to about anything.
Sean and I didn't get together tonight. It looks like it'll be next weekend instead. I've found my mind wandering to thoughts of him a few times in the last few days. Earlier tonight, everyone was wandering around with their "someone" and it was depressing.
A couple of the people on the floor have told me I shouldn't have any problem as there are gay people all over. Apparently, I'm gay, so I'm attracted to all gay men. Hell, if that was the case...
Actually, I'm wanting to hang out with Sean s'more and get to know a bit more about him. I was suffering from my blabbering nervousness the other night. 8-( I feel (and fear) that I made a complete dorkass of myself.
Maybe I just have too much free time to think about my living situation and my lack of romantic leads.
it's 3am, I should shower and head to bed...
*sigh*
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