It's just a form of therapy for me, I have the story line sketched out but my life is just not going to let me finish it I don't think.
30 May 2004
Deep thoughts...
I've come to the conclusion that I might as well just dump my novel to the web and forget about every trying to finish it.
It's just a form of therapy for me, I have the story line sketched out but my life is just not going to let me finish it I don't think.
It's just a form of therapy for me, I have the story line sketched out but my life is just not going to let me finish it I don't think.
24 May 2004
Why is it....
I suddenly had an urge to go digging up old country songs that I heard growing up.
I found a bunch of Red Sovine stuff...including Teddy Bear. Every time I hear that song, I cry...Red Sovine was one of those singers who really put you in the song. It was "down home" country music that was still in touch with the roots of music, not whatever the next big sound was...
I also forgot just how down one could get listening to Red Sovine. After about three songs, I have to listen to something much less down...actually, I have to change to something quite uptempo and bright or else I fall into a downer.
I've yet to find another artist who can consistently reach in and touch my inner being quite the way that Red Sovine does.
Just a thought from the musically eclectic bear...
I found a bunch of Red Sovine stuff...including Teddy Bear. Every time I hear that song, I cry...Red Sovine was one of those singers who really put you in the song. It was "down home" country music that was still in touch with the roots of music, not whatever the next big sound was...
I also forgot just how down one could get listening to Red Sovine. After about three songs, I have to listen to something much less down...actually, I have to change to something quite uptempo and bright or else I fall into a downer.
I've yet to find another artist who can consistently reach in and touch my inner being quite the way that Red Sovine does.
Just a thought from the musically eclectic bear...
19 May 2004
Bookstore ideas/updates
Well, the store would immediately be a Llewelyn Books reseller. They have about 600 various occult/new-age/pagan titles in their collection.
I've also managed to find a couple of really nice candle suppliers.
(Looks at his check list...)
Book supplier (found)
Candle supplier (found)
Herb supplier (found, though we may just go for selling the growing kits)
Jeweler (not found)
Glassmaker/Glassware supplier (found)
Incense supplier (found)
Well, five outta six isn't bad. It's the important parts of the list. Jewelry would be nice, but I'm willing to start without it. Now to nail down someplace to live while I'm in St. Cloud and get working on a small business loan and securing a location.
It's starting to pull together. Scarily, I think I could do the same thing here in Milwaukee if I could find a solid full time job that would allow me to support myself while getting the store pulled together. St. Cloud would allow me to have more friends/people I know involved and I think it would be easier to get going. It'll be interesting no matter where I do it.
Now to make some major decisions/changes in my life regarding jobs and location.
I've also managed to find a couple of really nice candle suppliers.
(Looks at his check list...)
Book supplier (found)
Candle supplier (found)
Herb supplier (found, though we may just go for selling the growing kits)
Jeweler (not found)
Glassmaker/Glassware supplier (found)
Incense supplier (found)
Well, five outta six isn't bad. It's the important parts of the list. Jewelry would be nice, but I'm willing to start without it. Now to nail down someplace to live while I'm in St. Cloud and get working on a small business loan and securing a location.
It's starting to pull together. Scarily, I think I could do the same thing here in Milwaukee if I could find a solid full time job that would allow me to support myself while getting the store pulled together. St. Cloud would allow me to have more friends/people I know involved and I think it would be easier to get going. It'll be interesting no matter where I do it.
Now to make some major decisions/changes in my life regarding jobs and location.
Shamelessly ripped from BigRock's Journal...
I know I said no memes during May...but this one is rather revealing about the enviroment in which I grew up.
Elmwood High School
Address:
301 W Butternut
Elmwood, IL
61529-9454
Phone Number: (309) 742-2851
Statistics for Elmwood High School:
School District: Elmwood Community Unified School District 322
County: Peoria
Low Grade: 09
High Grade: 12
Locale: "Rural, inside MSA"
Charter: No
Magnet: No
Title 1 School: No
Title 1 School Wide:
Number of Students: 177
Number of Teachers: 19.40
Teacher to Student Percent: 9.10
Male: 78
Female: 99
Native American: 0
Asian: 0 << was 1 my freshmen year (exchange student)
Black: 2 << was 0 when I was there from 86-87 88-90
Hispanic: 3 << was 1 my senior year (exchange student)
White: 172
Number of Students Receiving Free Lunch: 13
Number of Students Receiving Reduced Lunch: 6
Migrant Students: 0
My graduating class (1990) was 50 (no that isn't a typo).
My Sophomore year, I went to Morton High School (lived with my dad for a year...) it was.. different than what I was used to...
Morton High School
Address:
350 N Illinois Ave
Morton, IL
61550-2299
Phone Number: (309) 266-7182
Statistics for Morton High School:
School District: Morton C U School District 709
County: Tazewell
Low Grade: 09
High Grade: 12
Locale: Urban Fringe of Mid-Size City
Charter: No
Magnet: No
Title 1 School: No
Title 1 School Wide:
Number of Students: 989 << Elmwood (the entire city was only 2,013)
Number of Teachers: 64.10
Teacher to Student Percent: 15.40
Male: 530
Female: 459
Native American: 3
Asian: 14
Black: 0
Hispanic: 9
White: 963
Number of Students Receiving Free Lunch: 31
Number of Students Receiving Reduced Lunch: 3
Migrant Students: 0
* info gleaned from Schooltree.org
Elmwood High School
Address:
301 W Butternut
Elmwood, IL
61529-9454
Phone Number: (309) 742-2851
Statistics for Elmwood High School:
School District: Elmwood Community Unified School District 322
County: Peoria
Low Grade: 09
High Grade: 12
Locale: "Rural, inside MSA"
Charter: No
Magnet: No
Title 1 School: No
Title 1 School Wide:
Number of Students: 177
Number of Teachers: 19.40
Teacher to Student Percent: 9.10
Male: 78
Female: 99
Native American: 0
Asian: 0 << was 1 my freshmen year (exchange student)
Black: 2 << was 0 when I was there from 86-87 88-90
Hispanic: 3 << was 1 my senior year (exchange student)
White: 172
Number of Students Receiving Free Lunch: 13
Number of Students Receiving Reduced Lunch: 6
Migrant Students: 0
My graduating class (1990) was 50 (no that isn't a typo).
My Sophomore year, I went to Morton High School (lived with my dad for a year...) it was.. different than what I was used to...
Morton High School
Address:
350 N Illinois Ave
Morton, IL
61550-2299
Phone Number: (309) 266-7182
Statistics for Morton High School:
School District: Morton C U School District 709
County: Tazewell
Low Grade: 09
High Grade: 12
Locale: Urban Fringe of Mid-Size City
Charter: No
Magnet: No
Title 1 School: No
Title 1 School Wide:
Number of Students: 989 << Elmwood (the entire city was only 2,013)
Number of Teachers: 64.10
Teacher to Student Percent: 15.40
Male: 530
Female: 459
Native American: 3
Asian: 14
Black: 0
Hispanic: 9
White: 963
Number of Students Receiving Free Lunch: 31
Number of Students Receiving Reduced Lunch: 3
Migrant Students: 0
* info gleaned from Schooltree.org
17 May 2004
Financial reality...
Well, after tomorrow I don't have car insurance and I'm not sure how much longer I'll have a cell phone. I can't afford to pay either one right now.
If you need to get ahold of me, e-mail is the way to go.
There are a couple of leads on the job horizon...but it involves another move. Rah.
Do I move back to Minnesota or do I move to Illinois...or do I move to Arkansas?
St. Cloud has a couple of nailable jobs. I could open my occult bookstore/supply store there as there is nothing like it there.
Illinois, I could live with Sean (rushing things) and could find something down there.
Arkansas, there is a solid major job lead at a local Baptist college near my mom. Nice job, I could get my BA degree for almost free...but *bleh* it's hell....err Arkansas.
If you need to get ahold of me, e-mail is the way to go.
There are a couple of leads on the job horizon...but it involves another move. Rah.
Do I move back to Minnesota or do I move to Illinois...or do I move to Arkansas?
St. Cloud has a couple of nailable jobs. I could open my occult bookstore/supply store there as there is nothing like it there.
Illinois, I could live with Sean (rushing things) and could find something down there.
Arkansas, there is a solid major job lead at a local Baptist college near my mom. Nice job, I could get my BA degree for almost free...but *bleh* it's hell....err Arkansas.
12 May 2004
Update on KLuJe
It's not been updated since KDE 3.0.x and still demands the GCC 2.9x compiler.
It's dead Jim.
So it's Drivel for now..and hopefully back to LogJam soon.
It's dead Jim.
So it's Drivel for now..and hopefully back to LogJam soon.
Well hell
I successfully upgrade to Fedora Core 2 Test 3 again. This time I was paying attention to what did/didn't work and had much better luck with the upgrade.
The only thing I can't get to work on the new system is my LiveJournal client LogJam to work. I tried compiling it from source...but it was crapping out on a few development libraries that would have still had me swimming in dependency hell. I figure once Fedora Core 2 (Final) is out the door, I should be able to get a package and just install it.
So in the meantime, I'm trying out a different client called humourously enough "Drivel". It's very very similar to LogJam's layout and functionality. It's got a couple of small things missing that I like, most notably the ability to minimize to the system tray and not have it in the task bar. If that's the only thing I find to grumble about with this client...LogJam has some serious competition for my LJ needs.
I thought about downloading the KDE based client called KLuJe but as it hasn't been updated in almost two years...I wasn't in too much of a hurry to try it out. I'll probably download it later this afternoon and see how it holds up.
The only thing I can't get to work on the new system is my LiveJournal client LogJam to work. I tried compiling it from source...but it was crapping out on a few development libraries that would have still had me swimming in dependency hell. I figure once Fedora Core 2 (Final) is out the door, I should be able to get a package and just install it.
So in the meantime, I'm trying out a different client called humourously enough "Drivel". It's very very similar to LogJam's layout and functionality. It's got a couple of small things missing that I like, most notably the ability to minimize to the system tray and not have it in the task bar. If that's the only thing I find to grumble about with this client...LogJam has some serious competition for my LJ needs.
I thought about downloading the KDE based client called KLuJe but as it hasn't been updated in almost two years...I wasn't in too much of a hurry to try it out. I'll probably download it later this afternoon and see how it holds up.
11 May 2004
Okay..this just struck me as hysterical...
during a phone conversation Mike was having with a friend of his...
"Well, I"d not be worried about Hep(atitis) B/C regarding the whole fisting thing with (name removed) so long as you use gloves. (Name removed) seems like a smart guy and practices safe fisting."
I dunno why...it just struck me as funny.
Update/Clarification/Apology: It was not the content of the comment that was hysterical/funny, rather the way that Mike said it. I am very much aware of the safety issues that are involved with fisting and the dangers of disease transmission (Hep A/B/C, HIV, and others), rips/tears/abrasions internally, etc. I was /not/ meaning to slight Mike or his advice in any way and I apologize to those who read this and found it offensive, for that was not my intent.
"Well, I"d not be worried about Hep(atitis) B/C regarding the whole fisting thing with (name removed) so long as you use gloves. (Name removed) seems like a smart guy and practices safe fisting."
I dunno why...it just struck me as funny.
Update/Clarification/Apology: It was not the content of the comment that was hysterical/funny, rather the way that Mike said it. I am very much aware of the safety issues that are involved with fisting and the dangers of disease transmission (Hep A/B/C, HIV, and others), rips/tears/abrasions internally, etc. I was /not/ meaning to slight Mike or his advice in any way and I apologize to those who read this and found it offensive, for that was not my intent.
Am I slowly going crazy
I'm sitting here in the apartment by myself. Mike's not been home from work. I've been at work tonight for the first night. I'm happy that I'm working at least, but at the same time, it's not enough to pay anything close to my bills and rent.
I'll be bringing home ~$400/mo from Pizza Hut. Rent for me is $300, car insurance $100, electric/cable $100. Food runs about $150/mo, my cell phone is ~$45/mo and gas...well...gas is a sucking hole in my budget. I'm busting my ass trying to find a 2nd job (actually a primary job with Pizza Hut acting as subsidiary income) but things aren't going anywhere in that regard. I'm starting to slowly spin into depression over it all.
I have $2.87 to my name and damn near no gas left in my van. I have to save that gas for getting to/from work.
I'm starting to think that I need to deal with the realities of moving and finding work somewhere else. Strangely enough, Arkansas isn't sounding so bad lately.
I'm hitting the point of just not caring any more. I'm getting no support from Mike at all or really anyone else for that matter.
But in terms of support, being there, and actively trying to be a friend and helping...I'm not hearing anything. The silence is deafening.
I'll be bringing home ~$400/mo from Pizza Hut. Rent for me is $300, car insurance $100, electric/cable $100. Food runs about $150/mo, my cell phone is ~$45/mo and gas...well...gas is a sucking hole in my budget. I'm busting my ass trying to find a 2nd job (actually a primary job with Pizza Hut acting as subsidiary income) but things aren't going anywhere in that regard. I'm starting to slowly spin into depression over it all.
I have $2.87 to my name and damn near no gas left in my van. I have to save that gas for getting to/from work.
I'm starting to think that I need to deal with the realities of moving and finding work somewhere else. Strangely enough, Arkansas isn't sounding so bad lately.
I'm hitting the point of just not caring any more. I'm getting no support from Mike at all or really anyone else for that matter.
But in terms of support, being there, and actively trying to be a friend and helping...I'm not hearing anything. The silence is deafening.
Work.
Well, I wound up working 3-7 tonight instead of 4-8. I got called in early and was sent home early since they were overstaffed after 6pm.
The procedures and how things work is quickly coming back. I should be back up to speed in a couple more shifts.
The procedures and how things work is quickly coming back. I should be back up to speed in a couple more shifts.
10 May 2004
Good News, Bad News...and just news
Good News:
The Keno group zipped back down early Sunday morning...I got 2 hours of sleep before Mike left to go to his mom's place and woke me up. I spent Sunday afternoon hanging out here and then one of my fellow Twin Cities game player friends who had moved to Schaumburg popped in and we hung out a couple of hours before heading to the Kenosha Game on Sunday evening.
I'm now working at Pizza Hut. I'll be working around 25 hours a week as a cook and filling in as a delivery driver if needed. It's a job, I'm being considered for becoming a part-time shift manager. So the week is somewhat off to a good start. The other upside to this job...I get a free meal when I'm working which takes a little pressure off the food budget in the apartment (see below).
Bad News: I had my 2nd interview early this afternoon for the IT Support job. The interview didn't seem to be going well and the questions they were asking didn't seem to fit with what I knew of the job. A couple of hours later, I got an e-mail confirming that I was no longer being considered for the position.
The household is broke until Friday. We'll be doing the classic "back of the cupboard" cuisine for the week.
The transmission in my van is starting to act up. It likes to slip at speeds near the shift points. Not good at all. It has to live a while longer. It's just started doing it...and it only does it sporadically, but it's still signs of a failing transmission (and with 160,000 miles on it...it's allowed.)
Just News: I updated Stocky Jock to ask for "support" and keeping the site free. Right now, I'm barely going to be able to cover rent or expenses (one or the other right now). I'm frantically trying to nail down a full time job and that financial drive overrides Stocky Jock. If there is a huge outpouring of support, then I can justify spending the time to get updates done and continuing to work on the site rebuild that I have in mind. It would also be nice to see some support from all the people who visit the site (and there are a goodly number based on the site stats).
Overall: I'm frustrated, getting worried about where I'm going to be living after the lease is up on 30 June, and stressing out over the van and money in general. I know I should just let go and let Deity help me along, but I'm merely human and letting life "free fall" is extremely difficult (and very frightening).
The Keno group zipped back down early Sunday morning...I got 2 hours of sleep before Mike left to go to his mom's place and woke me up. I spent Sunday afternoon hanging out here and then one of my fellow Twin Cities game player friends who had moved to Schaumburg popped in and we hung out a couple of hours before heading to the Kenosha Game on Sunday evening.
I'm now working at Pizza Hut. I'll be working around 25 hours a week as a cook and filling in as a delivery driver if needed. It's a job, I'm being considered for becoming a part-time shift manager. So the week is somewhat off to a good start. The other upside to this job...I get a free meal when I'm working which takes a little pressure off the food budget in the apartment (see below).
Bad News: I had my 2nd interview early this afternoon for the IT Support job. The interview didn't seem to be going well and the questions they were asking didn't seem to fit with what I knew of the job. A couple of hours later, I got an e-mail confirming that I was no longer being considered for the position.
The household is broke until Friday. We'll be doing the classic "back of the cupboard" cuisine for the week.
The transmission in my van is starting to act up. It likes to slip at speeds near the shift points. Not good at all. It has to live a while longer. It's just started doing it...and it only does it sporadically, but it's still signs of a failing transmission (and with 160,000 miles on it...it's allowed.)
Just News: I updated Stocky Jock to ask for "support" and keeping the site free. Right now, I'm barely going to be able to cover rent or expenses (one or the other right now). I'm frantically trying to nail down a full time job and that financial drive overrides Stocky Jock. If there is a huge outpouring of support, then I can justify spending the time to get updates done and continuing to work on the site rebuild that I have in mind. It would also be nice to see some support from all the people who visit the site (and there are a goodly number based on the site stats).
Overall: I'm frustrated, getting worried about where I'm going to be living after the lease is up on 30 June, and stressing out over the van and money in general. I know I should just let go and let Deity help me along, but I'm merely human and letting life "free fall" is extremely difficult (and very frightening).
06 May 2004
Deep thoughts..by JT
After an odd conversation on IRC this afternoon, where I “learned” that Wiccans have no God (just a Goddess) and that how we (the Wiccan/Pagan types) should be thankful for shows like Buffy and Charmed that opened up our religion to the masses and made the mass marketing of merchandise a reality.
I nearly beat my monitor into a shattered pile of glass and plastic.
But one of the thoughts that Mike and I have had for quite a while is to open an Occult bookstore here in Milwaukee as currently the only places to get books on the subject are Borders or Barnes & Noble. I have a hard enough time finding basic things like quality incense and candles here.
Mike and I both agree that we should start with brick and mortar with an online presence. Mike’s convinced that we need to be in the “east side” of Milwaukee around UW-Milwaukee and the “trendy” part of town. In Minneapolis, it’d be the same as Uptown or Dinkytown. I can definately see his point, but at the same time, a quality store will draw people from around it.
Ideally, I’d love to become the “place to go” for most of southeast Wisconsin. I mean, Kenosha/Racine is only an hour away...Madison is 90 minutes...
If I’m going to do this, I need to start the planning now. Writing up the business plan, finding locations, and trying to secure an SBA loan so we can actually get it going.
Do I or don’t I. That is the $64,000 question...
I nearly beat my monitor into a shattered pile of glass and plastic.
But one of the thoughts that Mike and I have had for quite a while is to open an Occult bookstore here in Milwaukee as currently the only places to get books on the subject are Borders or Barnes & Noble. I have a hard enough time finding basic things like quality incense and candles here.
Mike and I both agree that we should start with brick and mortar with an online presence. Mike’s convinced that we need to be in the “east side” of Milwaukee around UW-Milwaukee and the “trendy” part of town. In Minneapolis, it’d be the same as Uptown or Dinkytown. I can definately see his point, but at the same time, a quality store will draw people from around it.
Ideally, I’d love to become the “place to go” for most of southeast Wisconsin. I mean, Kenosha/Racine is only an hour away...Madison is 90 minutes...
If I’m going to do this, I need to start the planning now. Writing up the business plan, finding locations, and trying to secure an SBA loan so we can actually get it going.
Do I or don’t I. That is the $64,000 question...
03 May 2004
01 May 2004
Woohoo...
Talked to Pizza Hut...I start Wednesday. I don’t know my schedule yet, but I’m hired.
It’s part-time...only 15-20 hours a week...but it’s something to bring in some money while I hunt for a full-time day job.
I still have my interview on Tuesday at 1:30 for the IT Support position.
Things are looking up.
It’s part-time...only 15-20 hours a week...but it’s something to bring in some money while I hunt for a full-time day job.
I still have my interview on Tuesday at 1:30 for the IT Support position.
Things are looking up.
More May meme madness, though I don't totally agree with it...
AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave
and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to
console others. Too generous
and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty
for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts. Loves
to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in
the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance
against illnesses. Learns
to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and
caring. Loves to make
friends .
What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave
and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to
console others. Too generous
and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty
for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts. Loves
to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in
the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance
against illnesses. Learns
to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and
caring. Loves to make
friends .
What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Geek humour via Slashdot...
look; gawk; talk; date; wine; unzip; strip; touch; finger; head; mount; fsck; more; yes; spray; umount; sleep; leave
(all are valid UNIX commands. For the zealots/Solaris heads (ahem Chris), yes I know it doesn’t work. It’s for those times when you are off-line...and you have a partner....)
I had to cackle at a follow up though...
“The only problem with you signature is that it is a lawsuit waiting to happen. If one fails you don’t want to do the rest. that would be very bad. you want to use && instead of ;”
(all are valid UNIX commands. For the zealots/Solaris heads (ahem Chris), yes I know it doesn’t work. It’s for those times when you are off-line...and you have a partner....)
I had to cackle at a follow up though...
“The only problem with you signature is that it is a lawsuit waiting to happen. If one fails you don’t want to do the rest. that would be very bad. you want to use && instead of ;”
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