I'll be bringing home ~$400/mo from Pizza Hut. Rent for me is $300, car insurance $100, electric/cable $100. Food runs about $150/mo, my cell phone is ~$45/mo and gas...well...gas is a sucking hole in my budget. I'm busting my ass trying to find a 2nd job (actually a primary job with Pizza Hut acting as subsidiary income) but things aren't going anywhere in that regard. I'm starting to slowly spin into depression over it all.
I have $2.87 to my name and damn near no gas left in my van. I have to save that gas for getting to/from work.
I'm starting to think that I need to deal with the realities of moving and finding work somewhere else. Strangely enough, Arkansas isn't sounding so bad lately.
I'm hitting the point of just not caring any more. I'm getting no support from Mike at all or really anyone else for that matter.
But in terms of support, being there, and actively trying to be a friend and helping...I'm not hearing anything. The silence is deafening.
4 comments:
There's a bunch of options, some we've already discussed, but honestly, it may not be in that location. There's lots of places for opportunity.
Arkansas is probably cheaper living, but lower wages. A place like Chicago will be higher wages, more expensive living. I can't imagine picking up everything and leaving town, but then I haven't had the same situation.
Then you wrote: "I'm hitting the point of just not caring any more. I'm getting no support from Mike at all or really anyone else for that matter. ... But in terms of support, being there, and actively trying to be a friend and helping...I'm not hearing anything. The silence is deafening."
Lots of people have problems. I've got one friend whose best friend is in a hospital right now afraid for his life. I've got another couple who have started abusing each other. Another friend is, just like you, trying to make ends meet without a lot of success. The list goes on. And that's not even my own problems.
Expecting help from others is a bad assumption. Not only does it insult others, but it tends to burn people out quickly... The very people you'd like the possibility of future help from. I know you feel you are at the end of your rope... and then maybe one needs to consider changing it. A different locale, a different spot, etc.
But please, don't BLAME others for having multiple concerns. We're all doing a juggling act, throwing guilt into the juggler's hands won't make anything easier.
Moving is an option. I'm not sure how everything is going to shake out in the next couple of months.
As for assuming help from others, I think it's more of a reflection on me and how willing I am to go too far for friends. I actually don't have that many real friends and those that I do have, I'd be willing to do almost anything for.
Maybe I should take it as a sign that things have changed, my life has moved on, and I should take stock of what I have now.
In some ways, I feel that in a couple of cases, friendships that I had were much more one-sided than I realized at the time.
Hopefully I'm just having a bad night and in the morning I'll wake up and be in a better mood about it all.
If you measure your friends by what you expect to get from them, then yes, you should start over...
Being a friend isn't about money, it's about listening when no one else will. About not listening to the rumors and the other folks telling them to stay away. It's about being able to openly discuss and being frank in conversations and not nodding one's head in the conversation or taking the place of a "yes man".
Friends give in the ways they can... and if it doesn't match up with what you want, you (as a friend) should give them the benefit of the doubt...
Yeah, there are friends who won't lift a finger at this point... but will at a later stage. You still have options, you still have choices... and blaming them shouldn't be one of them.
Money is honestly far from the root of things with my friends. I was actually quite thankful that I got to visit Minneapolis on Saturday which was entirely thanks to .
The problem is that my "friends" don't want to listen. They expect me to be there when they call, but if I call...
I'm also watching a friend of mine starting to spiral downward as well and there is nothing I can do about it and it's bothering me majorly as he's been there for me in the past and now I can't help him.
I'm not blaming them...I'm blaming myself for not seeing the "friendship" for what it is earlier. It's like my former roommates in St. Cloud who say they are my friends...but yet I never hear from them unless they want a quick paper review or if Alex wants to pick my brain about something with Linux. I guess it's the natural end of my Minnesota friendships and I'm just starting to realize it. The "permanance" of Wisconsin is settling in as I enter a period of major uncertainity.
I think I'm just over-projecting my own fears and vulnerabilities.
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