For some reason, I'm just totally in the shitter ...

For some reason, I'm just totally in the shitter today.

I'm curled up in bed crying, pondering the meaning of gay life. I mean, I know I can't just suddenly be "not gay" but damn...

All I want is a decent date with a decent guy. Is that so much to ask? I don't want sex. I don't want to see or think about his cock. A nice dinner date, taking a long walk along the botanical gardens on the other side of the river and maybe sitting and making out for a while.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex. (Oh, do I ever!). I just want a *relationship*. Getting off is something I can do by myself and it leaves me feeling a lot better than if I was tricking around and feeling like a slut.

The last few guys who've asked me out, just wanted to fuck. I know that it's a guy thing to be always horny and willing to fuck most anything that moves, but not all of us are like that and not all of us like to be thought of as "sex gods" who are there to provide pleasures on a whim.

I can really see why there is a sizeable population of gay men who are depressed and sick of the "lifestyle"/"culture" and how it treats it's own members.

*hops off his soapbox and shuffles away, broken hearted and broken spirited*