But I’ve sworn off dating and relationships.
Now before anyone gets their hopes up...don’t.
I’m going to not be engaging in sins of the flesh with others. It’s not what I want and it just leaves me feeling dirty afterwards.
I want to cuddle and snuggle...and have quiet pillow talk with the man I am with...fix him dinner and share my life with him...not just the occasional bump-n-grind.
There are a few people who have crossed my radar of late...
Two of them: Not sure what he wants. It’s gonna take a good deal of time for him to realize what he wants and working through his own head before he can say what he truly wants.
Number 1 could have my heart and soul if he wants it...but I can’t sit and be emotionally confused over what he wants (or really doesn’t want) in spite of his words and actions not agreeing. What is most painful about this...is that I’ve seen deep inside him...and *sigh* I’ve fallen hard for him...like painfully hard.
Number 2 is most likely just a crush that will pass. I’m not all that upset with number 2...but I do need to mentally get over it.
3: Claims to be interested in me and wants to hang out with me sometime, but is never reachable...and when he is reachable is always busy.
His loss. I’ve tried to arrange stuff with him...and I’ve never gotten a call/email/IM anything from him trying to originate/start anything. I can read the writing on the wall.
So I go forward...knowing that I’m not going to find anyone or have anyone...and if I can work on accepting that I’ll be single till I drop dead...I’ll be better off.
Yeah, I’m in a mood today...this has been festering in my head for a while.
-- Big Bear off
6 comments:
Sex is kind of integral to most relationships.
Being single takes some adjustment.
However, it also is a centering & clarifying experience. Sometimes you have to find the stability of the center, sort of the eye of a storm, before you can go out and handle the challenges & opportunities of the storm again. There is nothing wrong with that! I think, actually, it's quite healthy. Much better than bouncing around between disfunctional and unsatisfying relationships.
There are days that I think "I'll be single forever...that's the best" and then a glimmer of hope comes along and says "Come on in, the water's fine" so it may be ok to try again.
Spend the energy on finding the center, and when you move forward again, you'll be stronger.
I thought tacklekub was your "partner". You're single?
Hey, I'm back around should you want to talk.
im starting to feel that way with mark. we get together bump n grind, but we dont ever penitrate. im gettign tired of basically having one night stands with him. gettign off everytime we see each other every chance we get. blah, oh and hes says i love you so damn much i sware its lost meaning. i do feel for him and love him too but hes wearing those words out. any advise for me shit ya know this is a good topic in stocky jock's forum that is no more blah
also im online at times if you want to talk buddy, i miss our talks
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