from the does-community-matter dept. *yawn* Be...

from the does-community-matter dept.

*yawn* Benadryl sucks. I took two last night about midnight after downing a gallon of iced tea with pizza (talk about a recipe for heartburn!).

I woke up a couple of times during the night, most notably at 6:30ish (I think) when Jason's alarm cluck went off. It's still morse code, and one of these days, I'll figure out what it is.

I've reclaimed my now totally dead chair. I need it to actually fit under the so-called desks around here.

My ESCI 230 lab was boring as hell. I'm actually really glad we only have one lab section of that class and not two. I don't think I could handle having him for that much time in a week.

The hottie was in lab (no shock) and he's still a hottie. I'm so tempted to just walk up to him and try to strike up a conversation, but I get weak in the knees around him. How's that for messed up?

HURL 102 (Human Race and Relations) wasn't all bad. I didn't have all the readings like I thought I had. Copies Plus (the big on-campus copy place that we had to get our readings from) screwed up. I was less than happy. Class seemed to drag on today, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it was my mood...it seemed to be subtly shifting during the afternoon.

I made the GLBTA alliance meeting. Ya know, I found my "community" and I realized that I may have found the some of the other GLBTA people on campus, but they really didn't seem to be "my people". I didn't really identify with them. I felt like an outside asked to sit in on a meeting. Yes, I identified with them on a social level, but that was it. I guess I expected to see more of the stocky guys around, but the only two "bigger" guys were both flaming.

I'm not sure if I want or need that much drama in my life. I mean really. I have enough drama with school, living with Jason in a broom closet, and dealing with Joe.

I'm actually looking forward to a quiet weekend on campus. Though, it would mean that I'll have to deal with Jason all weekend. *hmmm* maybe the Cities don't look so bad after all.

I feel more comfortable and at home in the dorm (minus Jason) than I do at the GLBTA meetings. Now why is it that when I'm in the dorm surrounded by straight people, I feel more comfortable than I do in a group of my peers?

Songs of the moment...

"Putting On A Show" by The Whitlams
"Blue Moon" by the Mavericks
"I'll Forgive, But I Won't Forget" by Paul Kelly
"Somebody" by Depeche Mode

Yeah, it's a down day. Maybe it's the clouds and snow...

We'll see. I'm going to work on my novel for a while and see if this is just a reflection at my disappointment at the GLBTA meeting or if it's a more general down time.

I think I'll head over to Case Health Center (campus health service) tomorrow and get back on my Trazadone. I think the reality of this being home, the Cities not being home, and living in a paranoid closet is catching up with me.

It's official. I'm bummed out and I don't know why.