Let's eee here...
My last training session at KVSC sounded like sh*t since I'm battling this massive sinus infection (thankfully going away).
One of the guys I'm interested in after finding out that out of all the guys that are after me, I've only found three interesting, announced "I'm not going to compete for a man" and that's the last I've heard from him. Interesting. There is no "competition" as it was a statement that very few of the guys who are after me do I find worthy of me.
Josh, from St. Paul, is an enigma. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, romantic, and all those other wonderful things. However, he's in St. Paul, I live in St. Cloud and we both don't have cars. This will be interesting...
Mikey...oh Mikey...
Well, any hopes I had of that working out where dashed against the rocks, the remaining bits burned, and survivors shot.
Mikey has this amazing ability to know how to hurt me at my weakest moment.
I was talking to him tonight...told him how I truly felt about him (I love him) and why...how we've both seen each other at our worst...been there for each other. I've pushed people away and held others at bay because of how I feel for Mike. I'm totally bared to him and the the world.
Mikey's response basically informed me that I wasn't in his plans and outlook for the next few years of his life (maybe up to seven) and that it was scary that he assumed his personality was fixed (as in molded and permanently frozen) and that he'd be facing life alone.
"I can't help it if I have *major* commitment problems." Oh great, so now I feel like a complete schmuck for holding the torch for Mike and in reality, I had no chance in hell.
Wonderful, Sean's out of my life, Mikey's taken himself out...and Josh, the first sincerely interesting find of the last year or so, appears at a time when I'd most likely to rebound 8-\
WHY?! What the fuck did I do to deserve shit like this?
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